Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
~*On My Mind*~!
Right now I have a lot of things on my mind and no one really to vent to. So I decided to come here and release all this pent up stress to a bunch of strangers who may or may not read this....I don't care either way. I just need to get shit off my mind.
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My mom has been in a negative mood the last few days and I can't really take it anymore. She should at least be thankful for what we do have, instead of complaining about what we don't have. It may not be the best, but we do have a house and food to eat and a car to get us back and forth and a few spare dollars in the bank for an emergency. It could always be better, but then again it could be worse than what it is. I am just thankful that I do have a house with food a car and my mom because even if she is being a bitch, she is still there for me. I love her, but she is just getting on my nerves. I am also thankful for my friends and family and the fact that I have a job! It may not be the best, but I am thankful that I have some sort of income. My cats. I am thankful for Phoebe & Ozzy. I do not have kids at the moment, but hopefully that will change soon, so for now my cats are like my children! My life is far from perfect...it isn't even exciting sometimes, but I am thankful for what I do have! I don't like to dwell on what my life lacks; even though I tend to do that from time to time. I have a small inkling of hope that my life will improve through dedication, determination, confidence and hard-work. I would like to think that it would pay off in the end. I just need to work on the confidence part. There are days when I feel lesser. I don't feel like I am good enough, pretty enough, smart enough. I just don't feel like I am enough at all to a point. Days go by and I look in the mirror and I feel confident, and pretty and smart, but then I see all these other women/girls and they're pretty and more successful than me. Then I think...I don't want to be like them. I want to be me and I want have an impact on the world. Moral of all this: Don't try to be like everyone else. Find your niche and your talent and take off. Don't spend time comparing yourself to others, because you'll always pick up on your flaws. You are you and you are great you just have to embrace your greatness and then you will accomplish great things in life. Don't be so quick to give up, because strength will prevail even through the darkest of times.
I am not the best person to come to for positive advice, but just don't be a quitter. Life can throw a curveball and before we realize it, it seems as if we are on this winding path of hell. Don't stray and you shall see the light. And I am not being religious here, I am just saying you will see the end of the path. Life is too precious to waste on hatred and prejudice. Let go of all those and hold on to hope, peace, love, and justice. Those are things in life worth fighting for!
xoxo
Monica (:
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My mom has been in a negative mood the last few days and I can't really take it anymore. She should at least be thankful for what we do have, instead of complaining about what we don't have. It may not be the best, but we do have a house and food to eat and a car to get us back and forth and a few spare dollars in the bank for an emergency. It could always be better, but then again it could be worse than what it is. I am just thankful that I do have a house with food a car and my mom because even if she is being a bitch, she is still there for me. I love her, but she is just getting on my nerves. I am also thankful for my friends and family and the fact that I have a job! It may not be the best, but I am thankful that I have some sort of income. My cats. I am thankful for Phoebe & Ozzy. I do not have kids at the moment, but hopefully that will change soon, so for now my cats are like my children! My life is far from perfect...it isn't even exciting sometimes, but I am thankful for what I do have! I don't like to dwell on what my life lacks; even though I tend to do that from time to time. I have a small inkling of hope that my life will improve through dedication, determination, confidence and hard-work. I would like to think that it would pay off in the end. I just need to work on the confidence part. There are days when I feel lesser. I don't feel like I am good enough, pretty enough, smart enough. I just don't feel like I am enough at all to a point. Days go by and I look in the mirror and I feel confident, and pretty and smart, but then I see all these other women/girls and they're pretty and more successful than me. Then I think...I don't want to be like them. I want to be me and I want have an impact on the world. Moral of all this: Don't try to be like everyone else. Find your niche and your talent and take off. Don't spend time comparing yourself to others, because you'll always pick up on your flaws. You are you and you are great you just have to embrace your greatness and then you will accomplish great things in life. Don't be so quick to give up, because strength will prevail even through the darkest of times.
I am not the best person to come to for positive advice, but just don't be a quitter. Life can throw a curveball and before we realize it, it seems as if we are on this winding path of hell. Don't stray and you shall see the light. And I am not being religious here, I am just saying you will see the end of the path. Life is too precious to waste on hatred and prejudice. Let go of all those and hold on to hope, peace, love, and justice. Those are things in life worth fighting for!
xoxo
Monica (:
Monday, November 26, 2012
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Voice Inside My Head part II
HighSchool Life
I graduated from BCHS in 2004. It feels like forever ago. My first year it was very awkward, because I rarely had friends and didn't fit in well. I wasn't smart so I didn't do very well in my classes. Maybe if I had tried harder then I would have done better, but I will never know. My sophomore year was probably one of my worst years, because I didn't fit in well with any cliques and the friends I did have at the time, bailed on me. I kinda felt like Lindsay Lohan in Mean girls eating the bathroom, but hell I never did that. I always went outside and sit in a corner with my portable CD player (MP3 players were not big back then). Junior year was good. I even had a boyfriend for a short time that is until my "friend" started a nasty rumor about me! Looking back now, she was just jealous and it makes me laugh. Senior year was the best. I got to go on a cruise to Cancun Mexico, even though my roommates sucked! It was hella fun. I didn't want to come back. I wanted to party with the Mexicans!! :) I did go to prom, but it wasn't what everyone cracked it up to be. I thought getting dressed up was the best. I didn't actually like going to the damn dance anyways. Then I finally graduated and I couldn't have been happier. I was glad to get the hell out of BCHS, but then I didn't have a clue as to where I was going to go or what I was going to do.
College (First Time)
I wasn't smart enough to get accepted into a four year university. My dream was to go to UK but that didn't work out. I ended up going to ACTC (Ashland Community & Technical College). It wasn't that great, but that's where I started meeting guys and they were actually noticing me. I'm not going to lie I liked the attention, but what girl is going to say no they don't like attention from hot boys? hmm...NONE! I still didn't have my license, but I met new people and started hanging out and partying a lot more than I did in high school. That's when I really started to "break out from the box". I loved staying out all night drinking and talking to guys. It was fun. I didn't want a boyfriend at the time; I had more fun being single and not dealing with people's bullshit! It's a lot easier that way. It's also easier breaking something off before I got too close and got hurt. I'm not an emotional person; I keep mine locked up and if someone starts getting too close or clingy I end up pushing them away, because I know I'll just end up heartbroken and miserable over some guy. Why put myself through that? No thanks. I'll just wait to find someone I can/maybe fall in love with. Back to topic. I went to ACTC for two years and guess what? I didn't accomplish shit! Why? Well because they have fat ass lazy advisors who just felt the need to throw me in classes that were irrelevant to what I wanted (Computer Science). I dropped out because I had surgery and failed two classes. The professors refused to let me make-up the work at all. After my surgery I returned and they made me re-take classes I already had...but PASSED! They wouldn't let me retake the ones I FAILED?! 0.o It didn't make any sense to me. They also cheated me out of $1000 of student grant money with some bullshit letter saying I owed that money to the school! I then wasn't eligible for grants or student loans so I had to drop out because I had no other way to pay for my school.
I am going to stop here for now because the next post takes a different shift...becomes a lot darker and emotional.
xoxox
Monica<3
I graduated from BCHS in 2004. It feels like forever ago. My first year it was very awkward, because I rarely had friends and didn't fit in well. I wasn't smart so I didn't do very well in my classes. Maybe if I had tried harder then I would have done better, but I will never know. My sophomore year was probably one of my worst years, because I didn't fit in well with any cliques and the friends I did have at the time, bailed on me. I kinda felt like Lindsay Lohan in Mean girls eating the bathroom, but hell I never did that. I always went outside and sit in a corner with my portable CD player (MP3 players were not big back then). Junior year was good. I even had a boyfriend for a short time that is until my "friend" started a nasty rumor about me! Looking back now, she was just jealous and it makes me laugh. Senior year was the best. I got to go on a cruise to Cancun Mexico, even though my roommates sucked! It was hella fun. I didn't want to come back. I wanted to party with the Mexicans!! :) I did go to prom, but it wasn't what everyone cracked it up to be. I thought getting dressed up was the best. I didn't actually like going to the damn dance anyways. Then I finally graduated and I couldn't have been happier. I was glad to get the hell out of BCHS, but then I didn't have a clue as to where I was going to go or what I was going to do.
College (First Time)
I wasn't smart enough to get accepted into a four year university. My dream was to go to UK but that didn't work out. I ended up going to ACTC (Ashland Community & Technical College). It wasn't that great, but that's where I started meeting guys and they were actually noticing me. I'm not going to lie I liked the attention, but what girl is going to say no they don't like attention from hot boys? hmm...NONE! I still didn't have my license, but I met new people and started hanging out and partying a lot more than I did in high school. That's when I really started to "break out from the box". I loved staying out all night drinking and talking to guys. It was fun. I didn't want a boyfriend at the time; I had more fun being single and not dealing with people's bullshit! It's a lot easier that way. It's also easier breaking something off before I got too close and got hurt. I'm not an emotional person; I keep mine locked up and if someone starts getting too close or clingy I end up pushing them away, because I know I'll just end up heartbroken and miserable over some guy. Why put myself through that? No thanks. I'll just wait to find someone I can/maybe fall in love with. Back to topic. I went to ACTC for two years and guess what? I didn't accomplish shit! Why? Well because they have fat ass lazy advisors who just felt the need to throw me in classes that were irrelevant to what I wanted (Computer Science). I dropped out because I had surgery and failed two classes. The professors refused to let me make-up the work at all. After my surgery I returned and they made me re-take classes I already had...but PASSED! They wouldn't let me retake the ones I FAILED?! 0.o It didn't make any sense to me. They also cheated me out of $1000 of student grant money with some bullshit letter saying I owed that money to the school! I then wasn't eligible for grants or student loans so I had to drop out because I had no other way to pay for my school.
I am going to stop here for now because the next post takes a different shift...becomes a lot darker and emotional.
xoxox
Monica<3
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Voices Inside My Head
I'm getting a little personal with this entry. I rarely do this, but I'd figure I'd give my few readers a look inside my head.
WARNING: IT CAN BE SCARY IN HERE!
I live in a small town in Kentucky. Nothing amazing ever happens here...trust me I've been here for my whole life! It's small and boring. I do want to get out and will...eventually I just need to get financially stable so I can move.
BACKGROUND BASICS
My name is Monica and on Twitter I am @Glitz_Girl86. I do have a personal Facebook but I don't really add a lot of people to it. I am twenty-six and a full-time college student at Ohio University Southern Campus. I plan to get my associates in Digital Art. What I do with that I have no fucking idea. Hopefully I can land a job as a graphic designer somewhere and then return back to school for my bachelors. I am probably the only person in the world who actually enjoys college...most of the time. I am currently employed at CINEMARK MOVIES 10 in KY. It is a small minimum wage job, but I enjoy it! I will later discuss certain aspects of my job. On the weekends, or when I have free-time I like to hang out with my friends and go see movies and go party!! I try to have as much fun as I can. Life is about enjoying it and you have to make the best of it, even when it feels like it's the worst. I am a huge daydreamer. I get lost in my own little world sometimes....frankly because I like it there!! Sometimes it's even better than my boring reality in which I am stuck in. I am a very honest person...sometimes I can be a bit too honest and I get called a BITCH for it. But I say oh well, truth may hurt but it's better than a deceiving lie which instills false hopes on someone. I am a true believer in equal rights. Who is the government to tell us who we should or shouldn't love. They already are trying to turn us int puppets and taking away our rights. But politics is a different story. I believe that people should be allowed to marry who they want. No one is to judge others. Love is love: whether it's a woman and woman or man and man love is the same. Love has no gender, no race, no ethnicity. ALL IS LOVE!! We should all embrace love because it only happens once in a great while and some of us are lucky to find that special someone. I, however, have not found my perfect someone. Sometimes I feel like I will always be alone, but there's this small part of me...deep inside...a very small part that still hopes I will one day find love. I try not to let that part of me show very often....rarely do I embrace it. I try to lock it away and keep it buried in the bottom of my heart. I have hopes and dreams of getting married and having children one day! I want two kids one boy and one girl. I have picked out a few names even.
Girls Names
Keira Leighanne
Natalie Renea
Taylor Elizabeth
and more...but I want something different and unique.
Boys Names
Adam Thomas
Thomas Tyler
Brayden Tyler
Haven Michael
Taylor Vincent
MORE TO COME....
I have to go && I will return and update later.
XOXO MONICA XOXO
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
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