.Quotes.

Confessions of the Heart

To My Dragon,
   This has been building up inside me and I really can't find the nerves to confess everything to you right away, so I am writing them down. I doubt you will read this: 1. Because you don't hardly get on twitter and 2. I am not sure if I am ready for you to read this yet. I just know I need to write them down or else I am going to go insane. So here it goes baby.
 The past six months with you has been exceptional. I have really gotten to know you as a person and I enjoy spending time with you and hanging out with you, even if it is just once a week. I know this may seem selfish, but I would like to spend just a little more time with you, yeah our schedules conflict a lot, but we can make it work. We always do. I just feel so happy when I am with you. When I am not with you I find myself thinking about you. I see your smile in my head and your deep eyes, and it just makes me smile. You make me happy. I have to say lately that you have become the best part of my life, even when I am at work; you know what I mean by that one. haha. Each day I spend with you is a great day. It doesn't matter if we go out or stay in and watch Netflix, as long as I am with you that is all that matters baby. I must confess that you have become the better part of my life, and I don't ever want to change that. You are the only thing that makes sense in my life right now. And it has made determined to find a better job, one that pays more. Don't get me wrong I like my current job, and let's face it if I never did work there I would have never met you. So I am blessed for my job at the moment, it's just time I found something better. I have goals and plans. I want to be able to get a better paying job so I can afford my own apartment. If I ever get my own apartment you can come and stay with me as long as you would like. You can even have your friends and family come over as well. I wouldn't care. I just want us to be together. Speaking of your friends and family, I want to meet them. It's time. haha. I know they know about me, and you tell me stories about them as well. But I would really like to meet them. I understand this is all new to you, but now I am starting to feel like you're hiding me from them that you don't want them to meet me or vice versa. Are you embarassed of me? I honestly don't think so because you take me out all the time. I really am not trying to be a bitch baby, just confessing everything here. I just want to be more involved in your life and do things with you. I want to go on trips with you and your brother. Not all of them some of them would be fun. I just want us to be able to go places and have fun with your friends and family. Maybe even have a few cook outs this summer. That would be awesome! And you can come here and meet my crazy mom. We don't get a long as well anymore. I wish I knew why. She can be so needy sometims and if she doesn't get her way she can be a little bitchy as well. Well, I am starting to stray from the main topic...you.
Now here comes the really scary part. I know you probably don't feel exactly the same way but I need you to know this I have fallen in love with you, my Dragon. I can't exactly remember when, but it happened. You always joke about how much of an ass you can be, but I don't see it. Deep inside you are a caring person and one of the sweetest guys I know. That's why I have fallen in love with you. You are a gentleman and just so amazing...you are anything but an ass. We all have our moments where we "make an ass" of ourselves, but you're not a douche like all the other guys I guess that's why I developed a crush on you back in Sepetember. You are a real caring nice guy, and that is hard to find anymore, and it helps that you're really SEXY! haha. I have never been in a relationship like this one before, but I know I never want it to end. It's true though, I love you deeply and I don't want to lose you over this. I know how new this for you just as for me and it is scary. Please baby, don't push me away because of this. I have never been in love before at all, but I am most certain I am in love with you!! Don't shut me out now baby. You are the only guy I have ever opened up to and let in so much, but like I said in the beginning, I doubt you'll read this. I know relationships aren't perfect by any means, but I will fight for you and for us. I have never felt so strongly about someone before. To be honest, all the guys in my past were just for sex. I never really developed true feelings for them. With you, it's so much more than just sex. I believe we have an intimate emotional connection which is fueled by our trust for each other. I know you have friends that are girls, which you text, but I don't think you "like" any of them or would ever cheat on me. I highly doubt that, so baby, please don't prove me wrong. Haha. I wish I could get your feedback on this, but I am too nervous to let you read this. Maybe one day I shall share it with you. So there it is. Everything I have been holding in for a few months. Please don't hate me baby or push me away. I need you now!
Love Always,
Monica N Mullins

-*QUOTES*-

 

~Quotes for Thought~

1. I am young and studpid and really good at making bad decisions.

2. My heart has been beaten and bruised and I'm pretty fucking confused, and I always expect to lose. I'll explain it all to you through alcohol and bad tattoos. If I talk too loud or laugh too loud it's because I'm trying to forget that I'm sad because somethings can get pretty bad, but I'd like to believe that somewhere I'll find you going no where and we can go there together.
3. She guards the gate, but she's lost the key, so no one enters, but no one leaves.
4. I do all types of crazy shit. I can't change the way I am so if I offend you good cause I still don't give a fuck
5. We spend our whole lives telling ourselves that everything happens for a reason, when in reality, we always give reasons for everythingthat happens.
6. Damaged people are dangerous, because they know how to survive.

7. I'm damaged from the inside out. I've been broken so don't try to threaten me with what you think I feel. If you read my mind you'd be in tears
8.Living on crazy dreams, rock and roll faded blue jeans and standing on the edge of everything.
9. I believe in you so much, I could die for the words that you say.

10. So give me all your poison
And give me all your pills
And give me all your hopeless hearts
And make me illYou are running after somethingThat you will never killIf this is what you want
Then fire at will




 

More Madness Caused by Insomnia....

     I really wish I could find the right words to tel you exactly how I feel, some how I can't. It's not because I don't have strong feelings for you, it's just the opposite. My feelings are so immense, I am not quite sure how to describe them with out sounding like a school girl. Because, let's face it, this is something greater than your typical high school relationship. This is the real deal, and part of me is scared. Scared to lose you. Now that you are in my life, I can't picture me with out you anymore. The thought alone scares me to death. I don't know how long this will last, but I want to make it last forever. I have never had such a strong connection with any other guy, the way that I am connected with you. But then the other guys in my past, were not involved in a relationship; just casual sex. I suppose that is why I was nervous to get attached to you. I was scared that you were being genuinely sweet and saying things just to get with me. Now I realize I couldn't have been more wrong about you. I have grown to know you over the last five months and I have learned so much about you. You are a very family oriented man, which is good; even though every family is a bit dysfunctional. That is how we grow and learn, some people do the exact opposite and end up being criminals or addicts. I think we both over come a lot of obstacles in our past to get to where we are today, even though that may not be where we would like to be. You are very intelligent. I like listening to you, I feel like I can learn things from you, even if it is mostly about sports, history and politics. I still find the fact that you know so much interesting, because sometimes I don't feel like I know a lot about anything. You are sweet and caring. Most guys I have gone out with in the past have been douche bags, only took me out to get physical, and maybe back then I was too naive to realize that. Now I have grown and realized I want more than just a physical relationship and casual hook-ups. I want to be with someone who really cares about me, someone I can talk to when I am having a bad day, someone I can rely on to help me if I ever found myself in a jam. I believe that someone is you. I can tell by the way you act and the things you say, that you care for me more than just a physical release body. You can say some of the sweetest things to me that just make my heart melt. You have goals and aspirations. Don't let anyone destroy those. I believe in you and I believe you can still become whatever you would like to, because I know you don't want to work at your current job for the rest of your life. I wouldn't want to work there either, haha. You have so much going for you and the fact that I can absolutely call you mine is just amazing, because you truly are one of a kind specimen.
I am very thankful that I sent that message on New Years to you, because if I didn't, I wouldn't be where I am today. I wouldn't be with you. When I messaged you that night, I honestly didn't know what I wanted for the outcome. I was just going to try for a casual hook-up, since that's what most guys were into. Then I realized you were much different. You were a true gentleman that night. Our first date was Jan 7, 2013 you took me to Melini's. You were wearing a blue silk Salty Dog Cafe shirt and I can't remember what I wore. You were also my first true Valentine's Date. I never had a guy do something romantic for me on Valentine's Day. I always despised that day, well until this year. It was the best day ever. You were a red shirt, and took me to the Olive Garden. It was probably one of our best dates! I enjoy our date nights, they have become my favorite night of the week, and it's not because you take me out to some fancy restaurant and buy me an expensive meal. No, it is because I am with you. I enjoy sitting on your couch in our underwear watching TV and talking and just cuddling. The simplest things mean the greatest to me. The smallest act of kindness can be so important. I really just love being in your arms. I want to fall asleep that way, and wake up that way. I want to wake up and kiss your lips every morning for ever. I want to see that smile of yours that just brightens my day. I guess my confession here is that I want to spend everyday with you. Somewhere between January and May I have fallen in love with you Dragon. That is my name I have chosen for you. I can't tell you exactly when it happened, but I know it was in March when I just let my guard down and let you in completely. That was the moment I fell in love with you. I close my eyes, and I see yours. I go to sleep with you on my mind. I wake up and you're usually the first thing on my mind. Maybe that's not too healthy, but I never really was much of a health nut anyways. I have fallen irrevocably in love with you, Dragon. I just wonder if you will ever love me the way that I love you? Now that is kind of painful. Maybe that's why I haven't confessed my love for you yet. It is there, burning like a wild fire inside of me. I can't stop it now, for it has consumed me: mind, body, and soul. It hurts too, not the greatest feeling in the world, probably because fear accompanies love. My fear is that I will lose you. I can't bear to even think like that. I am going to cherish what we have and try my best to keep you. But one thing Dragon, I will not force you to be with me. I want you to be with me, because you want to.
 Meeting you was fate. Becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you was out of my control. 
When you look at me and smile it's like for a split second everything stops, and your smile pierces through all the bad in my life and all is well again. 
Love isn't finding someone you can live with, it's finding someone you can't live without.
And you'll forever be in my heart, my Dragon, my Sexy man. 
Love, 
Monica Nicolex<3

Just Girly Things♥

I want a body like that! &hearts;